2000-09-12
"I'll tell you secrets so good you'll never tell a soul" -Jeff Buckley
This line has been floating around my head space all day, filtering in through thoughts and conversations. It's a beautiful line.
Secrets are the most intimate things... but if they are so intimate why do you tell someone. Surely even such a good secret, a secret so good, you would never tell anyone because of it being so good,, too good to let go, to intimate to let wander into anothers world. So intimate if they were to tell you're world would collapse.... those secrets should never be told,,,, maybe any secret told is one that is not so dear,,, one with value but without total emotional detachment.
Some people fear secrets, I don't mind them. There are some things in this world, some things that should remain dear and close, sometimes you should hold onto yourself, the parts that make you what you are and secrets often comprise of these parts. There are parts that you hold dear, that no other will know that I feel serve to define us an individual. some see this as not knowing a person fully, but to know them and to BE them are two differnt things, it's a trap,,, to remain tied and together yet become separate.
There are some secrets though that have to be told... maybe thats a given..
WE even keep secrets from ourselves... all of us... our mind not focussiing on what we know, on what we do or how we apty feel and think. That scares me,, the secrets inside that you don't know exist because your mind is filtering them out,, maybe too painful to bear.
And the lyric that bears the most relevance to my world right now
"Seems like I've known you a lifetime
now it's time to make you mine...
on a night like this" (kylie)
so apt... *sigh* maybe this Mr X things will happen,, I fine myself hoping more and more. That scares me.... hopefullness that may never be forfilled,, that and when the music stops..... because one day it eventually will.
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