2001-02-10
Tonights Soundtrack: Nerf Herder
Nail Colour: Ambition- Poppy King
First there comes an innocense that innocense itself forgot
I havn't been around for so long...
where do I start?
Xmas and New Year came and went without much of note. This week Uni starts and I guess the working year has begun.
It's a strange feeling I've been floating on summer for the last 4 months and it should be comeing to a close but it's not, it's still floating, just idelying by on the wind and letting me feel so good and free. It's wonderful and maybe this feeling won't change for a long time, there will be less stress and more me and more time and I will be fine.
Truth.
Mr X and I are wonderful, blissful infact, sometimes he anoys me and we fight, but we are so comfortable and so right, it's good, a floating feeling that is better than much that has come before.
Myabe I should just say it. I love him. And there is all that words cannot express that run between him and I. I cannot find the words to aptly describe my current universe. So I will just say this.
I have released s few stars from my pocket and the world is opening up for me day by day.
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Miss Y told me that she's in love with me and that realy shook me for a few weeks, I guess she'll never know just how much it shook me. I played it down but I can't deal right now. She has put me in a difficult situation and I won't just give in to her advances. Not now but maybe not forever.
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Cass's shrinkie told her to write a list of the things that TRULY make her happy. Complete.
I don't know what mine would be,, something along the lines of this think.
1. Shopping
2. Discovering new artists, seeing their new work
3. Finding something truly beautiful at an antique/op shop
4. Cute pop music
5. Swing dancing to lazy Jazz on a sunday afternoon
6. Meandering around all day eating late into the city night amongst the lights and the beauty.
7. Seeing Cass and my friends
8. Spending time with Mr X
I guess these arn't in true order but they are my favority things. I could cry when I remember how much fun and how complete I felt when doing these things lately. I just feel like the world is mine, esp after a trip to the jazz club. I feel the desire to travel and to see and to hear is so much I could burst or die for the possibilties are so endless that maybe I could never have them all.
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Goodnight. Be well.
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And when she told me that she loved me the lump in my throat was so big I thought I'd swallowed my heart.
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