2003-04-04
punch
Trying to recall a dream so vivid is like trying to touch her scent. Yet I try...
Sitting bolt upright, bathed in a thin layer of sweat, splinters shattering at my spine.
contempt contempt contempt
That old man looming, the martyr but yr not MY martyr.
Yr venomous, noxious gas that was ill-fated enough to take solid human form.
You make these green eyes flash old man, like no one else.
If yr so strong why is it you raise yr voice, yr fist to me just like you did to my father?
I am screaming in yr face. CONTEMPT!
this time the conflict is a dream.
Yet when I wake I recall the vow I made at five years old : to not attend his funeral.
This is how angry I have been, at his hands for so very long.
You make me feel small and grey not strong and bright. You bring out the hostile in me, and make me lash it at yr face to further prove yr accusations.
CONTEMPT & FUCK YOU old man! Yr withering and wilting yr muscles reducing, but yr spirit is strong and ugly.
and I will not be there to wave it goodbye, to watch them shovel dirt over yr rotting bastard carcass.
Yr nothing nothing nothing.
and I AM strong and bright.
************************************************** 'and I'm not interested in fitting in, I only want to be this girl' .