2000-08-19
It's Saturday and I am hurting.
Got home from work about an hour ago and sat staring blanky at the tv, watchign video clips but not really taking it in. I am thinking about last night.
So we went to this dance (and danced hard), and guess what Colin was there. And he looked stupid,, but good. I have decided that he looks exactly like Robbie Williams espicalluy in the Millenium film clip. His hair is the same, and his smile and his eyes. I think thats what gets me,, the eyes. I can't explain it very well, I rid him from me, but when I see him I pretedn not to care, and then he starts meessing around and it's back to the same feeligns again. Last night it was all hey baby, hey goregous, and slapping my ass all night,, and me slapping his, and him coming up behind me and lifting me clear off the ground,, and little whispers in the ear, and nuzzles on my neck. He smelt so good. I am trying not to care, like I know I won't call him,, no way,, but if he calls me,, so be it. It's just he's such a player, but he is totally irresiable. Fuck me for being so teenage and shit. I am not getting all angst ridden over this no way!!
So the truth is I like to see him, I like to slaap his ass and nuzzle close. But I don't trust him. I'd love to see him more often, but I don't want to be with him cause he's syck a fucking player, but he's sexy and he knows it. And I don't mind that he thinks I'm alright too.
Tyring to come to that has taken me all morning,, but I am down with it now, I've got too much work to do to waste time thinking about it anymore. I have the house to myself tonight,, that makes me happy, I have some hardcore study to do and I don't need others pissing me off tonight.
I once told someone when they told me they loved me that I dodn't have time to fall in love. I was so wrong,, I do have time to fall in love, but I don't have time to get hurt. Thats what it comes down to I guess.
Radio shift in a few hours, I hope the dreaded ex is okay today, we don't speak anymore, maybe we should, then again maybe it's better left unsaid and assumed.
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