2000-09-10
I guess I haven't written in here for a while but I've been weirded out so much this w/e that I had to check my head, find out what I am feeling by writing.
So Mr X. The guy who is so wrong and who no body knows about party because I havn't made up my own mind about him asked me out to dinner. well in a round about way.
See Mr X is all joking, I never know how to take him and it's fucking unnerving to put it simply. I never know where I stand with him, but I think he feels the same way about me, it's like this intricate cat and mouse game that we play, it's blunt at times, but a little bit sassy at others. it's fun, but we always both knew that it meant something. He tries to figure me out, he wants to know when I am being serious or not, and I haven't let my gaurd down, not yet. He let his gaurd down yesterday, I saw his semi serious side, and It was great.
Mr x was being very intense yesterday, looking at me differntly, well the same, but in a more obvious way, I started to think that maybe I was making something out of nothing, but when you get THAT look,, you just know that there is something there. So there is soemthing there, a very big something perhaps. I enjoy the fact that I play it very calm with him, I joke back, and let my eyes flash around him. I like ignoring him. He always pokes for more, and sometimes I bite back.
So yesterday I see him and we chat for a bit and then he says "so when arte we having dinner" I laugh and he repeats it jokingly I say "whenever you want baby" and he says deadpan, "So can I take you out to dinner Megan?" and I said "sure okay fine" and he was "no I'm serious" I told him we could go out when I come back from holidays. and he goes "Thats half a month away" and asks if we can make it sooner. His eagerness scares me to be frank.
So how do I feel about Mr X. I have a little soft spot for him, he makes me laugh, and he makes me feel special. I feel important and I feel loved when I am around him. He told me once that "women rule the world, they can make a man do anything" I think I'm proving his point more and more, he is acting a little odd. This feeling of power is quite funny, I have no idea what he sees in me. Maybe I'll ask him someday.
Mr X is 0lder than me by lots 5 yrs infact, he has a job and a car, and a flat complete with amusing flat mates. I guess it could be fun. But we'll have to wiat and see, he might just be playing, but now he's got my number maybe it's soemthing more.
I don't mind this feeling,, I like being the one who's getting chased for once,, it's good,, I hope it's fun..
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