2000-09-30
"The vision was a masterpiece of comic timing
but you wouldn't laugh at all" - Belle and Sebastion
Saturday. Pm.
It's getting to be summer, the air smells like summer thick yet whispery, carrying the cherry blossoms along the footpath. The air also smells of sex.
It's two kinds of weather... hermit and the opposite, total interaction. You can either sink into two states, total isocation taking a break from the world for a while, in order to handle the rest of the year, or the other, total letting loose, finding and new love, another friend and a new club, and a new album to dance to whilst you are getting ready for your night out.
I love this time of year, going out in summer is so very sexy, and dangerous, it seems... bare skin, sweat, glitter and summery freakles on shoulders, and drinks with umbrellas and large slices of lemon. Everyone seems almost happy and carefree. I guess you can be more brooding in winter, but in summer a pop track and a cocktail is on everyones mind.
Saw Mr X tonight, He looked good, damn good. He doesn't even have to dress up or do that special something with his hair, he just looked damn edible tonight, maybe it's all this summer air and summer lust,,, I'm not sure. He talked about New York again. I hate it when he speaks of New York. He lived over there for a time and now wants to go back, he loves it and has friends there. I felt a pang when he said it, a pain in my chest when he says he will leave. He says he's saving the money and will one day unexpectantly take off, and the scary part is that he would, without telling me in advance. he's call and say "come with me to the airport" and that would be it. He would be gone.
Our 'thing' is so weird, it's definatly a 'thing' though. He said he'd call me this week, I hold no hope... if he does he does, but I won't be waiting by the phone. It's weird my ex and me and Mr X in the same room, chatting, Mr X dropping comments and lines and ex pretending to ignore them and hide his look of bewilderment, but it's been happening right under his nose. Amusing indeed. His goobye had that tone in it, the tone, the knowing tone of hope and of meaning, mine was light, I always keep them light, with everyone.
Monday morning, classes again, at least radiohead's new album comes out, I'll have some study music that night, Thom's vocals letting me drift off to sleep.
"The wrong girl
The wrong kind
The wrong hand to be holding
The wrong eyes to be searching behind
The wrong dream to have on my mind"
goodnight
.