2002-04-19
"You're beautiful, but slip away you're beautiful but slip away slip away" Life Without Buildings.
She's chasing circles, running tales inside my head, for hours and days and endless pauses in forgotten conversation.
She is the words I have been grasping for, is it wrong to play songs down the phone line instead of speech?
In some way I'd like these feelings to form a narrative, but as yet they don't. Conflicting thoughts, and I can't answer questions because I haven't decided anything yet, no formalisations or labels please.
I just want tea with my girlies, I want weepy movies and sweaters, I wanna read out loud to send you to sleep....
"He arrived each day with new eyes undimmed by familarity, new eyes for the woman he had not seen enough. New intense, deeply seeing eyes, seeing her in her entirity. Each time like a new person" Anais Nin (exerpt from Stella)
And isn't that what it's all about, new eyes each time, eyes that know nothing and everything that probe and push and want more and more and more still.
Eyes with intentions blurred and clear and profound, with each gasp of breath made new and exciting and real.
and then you hope that you will be enough to be new everyday.
can I be the cats meow? Oh can please, can I? .